Not Your Average Joe
*I am not the "Joe" who originally had this url and started the viral post that may have brought you here, please read "Why?" ....This is now a tumblr dedicated to all of you. I'm staying anonymous for now, giving my advice to you and simply being here for you.
Ask me anything.
Pour out your feelings.
Vent.
I'm here for you.
hello darlings, please read this
I am so sorry, but I am going to have to turn off my “ask” for a bit, I received over 200 questions in the last day so it’s going to be very hard to answer everything in proper timing. Please be patient, I will be back soon and I will be answering all of your questions as soon as I possibly can. I love all of you so much and remember, God loves you most, no matter what. Be strong and know that you are amazing.
Anonymous asked: Um, hello I gues :)
I've been struggling with faith recently, I don't really know if I have faith. Everything in my head is telling me/has always told me not to believe in God. I know this sounds rather crude but I did 'try out' church and youth groups but I left feeling disheartened and further away from God. Yet no matter how much I want to deny it in my head, that the methods used in church seem to be perfect for enforcing set ideas on us - indoctrinating us almost, even though I love science and being able to study how the world and its inhabitants have evolved around us, my heart hurts to deny that He exists.
I'm also finding it hard to see that God and religion are the same thing. Can you view them seperately? It's just religion was created by man and sometimes certain parts of the bible just seem so conveniently written to be used as a tool to control the people. And I don't understand how, for instance, Christianity preaches that our God is the one and only, yet Christianity was founded long after several other major religions. Is it okay to believe that there is a God but not follow a religion?
Apologies if I've said anything to offend you/for rambling on. It's been really helpful to "vent" though I suppose.
Thank you.
You didn’t offend me at all.
I understand what you’re going through and it is Him tugging at your heart to let Him in. It hurts to not believe because deep down, you know He’s there. And that is beautiful.
It’s okay to study science and evolution and still believe that He created it all. I believe that we have a Relationship with God and that a “Religion” shouldn’t define who we are, our walk with God should.
I believe that in order to have this relationship with Him, we must accept Jesus into our lives and hearts. And after this, you’re cleansed by Him and renewed. That’s all it takes, a genuine and heartfelt prayer.
We believe in reading the Bible in order to understand Him better. Reading your Bible and praying to Him are both ways of talking to Him and listening to Him as well. When you speak to Him, He does answer, it may not be the answer you want at the moment but it is the answer you need.
Religion…hmm…well I am a Non-Denominational Christian and like I said before, we don’t believe in “religion” we believe in having an actual relationship with Him. So I guess, in a way, yes, there is a way to believe in Him but not be part of a “Religion”.
What kind of churches have you gone to? I know that sometimes, what is taught at some churches just doesn’t feel genuine. Sometimes, it could take you a while before you find the “right” church, and the right pastor who, in your heart, you can FEEL the sincerity and righteousness beaming off of them while they teach.
If you’d like, you can send me an “ask” off of anon and we can talk more about this :) &That goes to any of you readers out there! (:
Don’t worry, God is working a great deal in your heart and something tells me that you already know it :)
God Bless You and I truly hope I helped, please let me know♥
Anonymous asked: As a girl with weight problems myself, I do appreciate a lot of the things posted on this tumblr. A lot of feelings of insecurity and pain stem from trouble regarding weight, especially for females. When I hear, "you should be thankful you're so small", or "I'd kill to be your size", I'm off. Because when I do or say something that conflicts with their belief system, then I'm an anorexic trainwreck or a skeleton. If you haven't guessed, I'm under the average weight, by a longshot.. I'm not anorexic, I don't have an eating disorder.. I'm just built entirely too small. I look in the mirror every morning and see the remnants of a once-confident girl, a holocaust survivor, and of course, a skeleton. And yet, I bring my skinny ass to school day in and day out, remembering what little moral value I have, and wear I stand in society. I've began to figure, that alone is enough weight to conquer the world..
Your words alone are beautiful. Don’t ever let go of the strength that you have inside. And be true to who you are. Yes, you are petite. Yes, you are gorgeous. You should regain that confidence you once had. It sure sounds like it’s beating in that strong heart somewhere. Thank you so much for venting.
Anonymous asked: last summer was the most horrible summer of my life. i had worked so hard for a position in a student organization and was reassured by my "friend", who was picking positions, that i would get the spot i wanted. i did all of my work and then some. and then, somehow, i was forgotten. he announced all of the positions and i didn't get anything. i guess this is where my mood swings started. i couldn't get out of my emotional rut. nothing seemed bright anymore. that summer, my great grandmother passed away. my aunt came to live with us for a few weeks. those weeks, i had to sit there while they openly compared me to my obviously better cousin. "oh, she's on the track team and hollister wants her to model for them! her grades are above a 4.0! you should really make yourself better. she's already starting on her future and here you are in your senior year undecided of what you want to do." i did know what i want to do. i wanted to go into genetics, but i guess they didn't think it was a hiring job. i felt rejected by my own friends and my family. i gained about fifteen pounds since then and weigh as much as i did when i was a freshman. i worked really hard to stave off that weight and i just fell right back into it. i got rejected by all of the colleges i applied to and only got into a college i didn't apply to out of their system wanting everyone to try them out. i'm going to be far away from my friends, but only a few really care. i want things to work out with my already long distanced boyfriend, but he doesn't want to talk about the future. it feels like he doesn't want to talk at all. i've been paying for his phone bill for the past few months and i try to clear up my schedule to spend time with him. but even then, he says i've changed, i'm not the girl he used to date. it must be the mood swings. he says i'm abusive, so these mood swings are ruining me. sometimes, i feel like he doesn't love me anymore. i'm stressed out about everything on top of trying to pass two of my classes. i used to be an a/b student. i don't know what happened.
You are a very strong person. The strength inside of you will get you through every bit of this. What I can tell you is that you can not let these hurdles define you or get you so down on yourself. Everybody has these kinds of troubles, I assure you. It sucks at the time, but there truly is always something great waiting for you at the end of it all.
It sounds like you’re going through some depression..if this is true and if you feel as though your “mood swings” are truly taking over your life…you need to talk to your family about it. They care, and they can help you in ways that I can’t. You should search for counseling, with or without their knowledge. You can find this at school, at a church, or you can even look for one outside of these surroundings. You can also ask your doctor to refer you to one. It’s always best to have a professional on your side when dealing with these things.
MOST seniors are undecided with what they want to do in life. It’s normal!! And trust me, whoever thinks they’ve got it all figured out, usually always changes their mind. Try not to worry about what your family wants you to do, do what YOU LOVE to do! Don’t compare yourself to anyone, you’re amazing the way you are. If the weight gain bothers you DON’T starve yourself! Work out, eat right and be consistent about it. Try to be more positive with your boyfriend, (I don’t understand why you’re paying his phone bill but i’m sure there is a good reason why…right??) You can still transfer to the schools you applied to before from the college you did get in! It’ll take a bit more time, but you can do it if you work hard at it! AND hey!! Look at the bright side, it won’t cost as much money! Your first few years in college are general ed anyways, might as well go to a less costly school! :)
God has a plan for every single one of us. He won’t let you down, and as the famous saying goes “Everything happens for a reason”.
You may be going through some rough times right now, but if you keep hoping, keep praying, keep striving to do YOUR best in staying positive and productive with your school, hobbies, and whatever else (especially things you LOVE to do!), you will start to notice that things will look up more often than not.
Believe in yourself. These are all just trials you have to overcome. And you WILL overcome.
Anonymous asked: First of all I love your blog! I'm glad there is an advice blog like this :)
Okay, to start I was with my last boyfriend for 6 months and he was my first love and my "first time". I was the one who broke up with him because my friend opened up my eyes to who he really was....I'll admit I jumped to conclusions and broke it off without talking to him. I was just hurt because I felt he never made an effort to see me (he is a marine). So, realizing how stupid I was I begged for his friendship, but a week later he got back together with his ex girlfriend and it completely crushed me, but he would say things like he loves me and misses me. It pissed me off cause I felt that she was using that girl, so I told him to tell her about me and what he said to me, but he refused. In anger I just stopped talking to him. Later, he texted me saying he was going to be stationed in Afghanistan and realized how close we were and said he needed me. It hurt, but I said would be friends. He said he had already broken up with his ex, but I had heard from two separate friends (who were friends with him on facebook) that he was back with her. So, I texted him saying that he lied and all this stuff, so I just talking to him.
Now, there's another guy at school who is the sweetest ever. He's a really good friend, and over the course of all that drama he was there for me and finally confessed his feelings for me (even though I could already tell) I said it would be a terrible idea to go out with him because I couldn't loose him as a friend and where I am it would just make him a rebound, but he said he wanted to take me on a date (because he over heard I went on a date with yet another guy, but that was just kind of a friendly date. we knew it wouldn't turn into anything), but I've been grounded so he can't take me out.
So, now here's my problem. A few weeks ago I got a text from my ex saying he didn't want me to be mad at him and he really needs me and stuff. I ignored him, but it hurts so so much....I love him all too much and it's been almost 3 months and I'm still not over him, but I know if I'm friends with him, he will get a girlfriend and I will never get over him.....last night I talked with the other guy and I may be starting to develop feelings for him. Problem is that 1) Not to sound shallow, I'm not really attracted to him. It's mostly his personality that I love. 2) I'm not over my ex and I know if he ever pops back in my life and asks for me back....I may say yes. And this guy doesn't deserve that...
What do I do??....Please and thank you!! :)
Okay so he’s a marine. That was the first thing that popped out at me because I’ve been in a relationship with a marine before.
To be with a marine, you truly do have to be a strong person. There are going to be times when you think they’re not spending enough time with you, when in reality they truly can’t. I don’t know that complete situation but that’s usually what it is with marines. They deal with a lot every single day, their entire world is SO different from ours, it’s almost alien sometimes. Many times, they even turn distant in order to get girlfriends out of their heads so that they have a clear mind for battle. They’re hard to understand sometimes, and you’ve REALLY got to think long and hard on if you really want to be a part of that life. Because honey, it’s not easy.
Also, you yourself admitted that you shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, that is with ANY relationship though, it’s never good to jump to conclusions without talking to the other person first. Don’t worry about it though, no need to let it bother you, it’s just another mistake that you can learn from, we all learn it in life.
If you feel that you are truly in love with him and that he is truly in love with you (you must be honest with yourself though, is it true love?)
And he’s trying to make an effort to keep in touch with you again, then why not? I’ll tell you this, It’s definitely not going to be something you get over any time soon. Especially since he was your first time.
Your friend that has been there for you and likes you sounds like a sweet guy. You don’t sound shallow, it’s how you feel. Some can be with people they are attracted to and some can’t, it’s just how it is. And like I said, he sounds like a sweet guy. But that doesn’t mean you go on a “pity” date with him. In the end, that could just make things awkward between you two and it very well could mess with your friendship a bit. And hurt him, and you said it yourself, he doesn’t deserve that.
Why do you think if you’re friends with the marine, he’ll get a girlfriend? Have you thought about working things out with him? Is he really that bad of a guy? What did your friend “open” your eyes to see him as?? I need to know these things to make a clear assumption of him..If he was bad to you, then stay away from him. But if he was a good boyfriend to you and you know your friend wasn’t right about whatever she/he said than I think you should allow him back into your life. But please, don’t ever “beg” again to ANY man. It’s not worth it.
Stay friends with the guy who is trying to take you on a date but tell him that you’re not really over your ex and it wouldn’t be fair to him. If he’s your friend, he’ll completely understand and it won’t mess with your friendship as much as actually giving it a try.
And if you believe in prayer, my last piece of advice would be to pray about it and let God help you along the way.
i hope this helps! good luck& God bless!
Anonymous asked: I never cared about boys. I never had crushes, never took anything seriously. Maybe I was protective, or just cold. I don't know. I never felt anything special.
I'm in my first year of college now and I met a boy who is absolutely perfect for me. We have everything and more in common, he's hilarious, incredibly, actually mind-blowingly smart (which is very important to me), and not to mention gorgeous. I couldn't have asked for more.
But there's a huge problem. He has a girlfriend. He's been dating her since high school (he's a year older than me), and she does not go to our university. He's never mentioned her ONCE to me, and we have lunch once a week. We text and talk a lot and I can't stop thinking about him. I hate myself like this, I've never felt so attached to someone. I don't know what to do, I don't know if there's a chance because I have no clue what state his relationship is in.
Should I stop talking to him to prevent the hurt? Should I continue? I'd never make a move on a taken man...but I just don't know what to do.
Thank you.
Don’t hate yourself for it. It’s perfectly normal to be attracted to somebody who is already taken. All I’ve got to say is, don’t pursue it in a fashion that shows you want him as more than a friend. Just stay friends with him. Let your friendship take its course BUT, if he tries to “hook up” with you while he is still with his girlfriend, then that is a HUGE no-no. Don’t allow him to use you as a side girl (doesn’t sound like he’s doing this at all, i’m just warning you!)
About you never caring about any other guys before, it doesn’t prove that he is the one for you or anything, it just proves that you’re quite picky, which is a very good thing! Don’t ever settle for less than what you deserve! But don’t be the home-wrecker either. Don’t pursue him in a sexual or more than friendly type of way (while he’s with his girlfriend) and if it’s meant to be later on, it’ll happen naturally when the time is right! :)
i hope that helped!
(i’m so sorry for taking so long to answer)
God Bless!!
DEAR FOLLOWERS,
I am so incredibly and sincerely sorry that I have not been able to answer any of your “asks” or have even logged on in so long. I have been in the Hospital and I have been dealing with a lot of health issues and family problems. I haven’t been able to log on and tell you any of this because I haven’t had a way to get on the internet in so long..and honestly my entire life isn’t very fortunate right now. But I am still going strong, I am not giving up and God is holding my hand every step of the way.
I know you have all been so very patient with me, but I need you to please try to be understanding for a bit longer. I’m searching for somebody else to help me out as well. I have over 200 asks to answer, so I am begging you to be patient with me.
I love all of you and I don’t want to let any of you down. I promise I will get to every single question as soon as I possibly can.
God Bless and Don’t Forget that Somebody Loves You.
Anonymous asked: Hi.
So I'm a girl with curves. Always have been. I've had quite a few boyfriends and such and I've slept with a lot of guys. That was before I became a Christian. (Praise God!) I've just really been working on myself with the Lord, but it's really hard. Most of the guys I was with just told me that the only reason they had sex with me was to see what it would be like with a bigger girl. Really broke my heart.
Anyways...I'm just really worried that no one will want to be with me because of the way I look. Is that dumb? I mean I know God has someone perfect for me, but it's just so difficult sometimes, ya know? I just don't understand why some guys like to put girls down because of their weight...
It’s not “dumb” to feel that way. Most people feel that way not matter how beautiful they are. Whatever those guys have told you in the past, is just where it is..in the past. There’s no need to think about it anymore or to bury yourself into believing what they said was true. Just like how you have renewed your life, you need to renew your thoughts. Those things in your past have made you into the person that you are today. You have a testimony to tell others seeking the Lord. Use it. But don’t dwell on it. Smile at the ridiculous words those ignorant guys have said. Smile at the mistakes you have made. Because guess what? You’re forgiven for every single thing. God has renewed you inside and out. Allow him to keep working inside of your heart. I don’t understand why people feel the need to put down other people either, many say it’s because they have a void in their own lives and want to make anyone else in their way suffer as they do. Some just have cruel heart, or no heart.
These things that are eating at you are of the Devil and him trying to keep you in what you have released yourself from.
I know it’s difficult to believe that there is a “Perfect” someone out there for you or for anyone, but while you’re working on bettering yourself and working on getting closer to God, the “perfect” man for you will come along in perfect timing. When you start feeling as though it’s impossible, pray. Grab your bible and read it. Speak to a youth leader or pastor about it. Surround yourself with people who are seeking the Lord as you are. Don’t settle for less this time. Settle for a man who will make your heart soar. A man who will show you that you are beautiful no matter what.
But keep reading, keep praying, keep building your relationship with God first. I leave you with this:
“A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her♥”
Anonymous asked: so every single one of my past relationships have ended in heart break on my part. but there's this guy now and he's so unbelievably sweet & seems so ready to make a commitment. not to mention he seems like good boyfriend material..or so i think. i don't know, i seem to be a bad judge of character. i also hear about his past and see some things that could be a bad sign, but i'm just so taken by him. maybe i'm still mourning from my last terrible relationship & just really want a new man in my life, but i'm not sure what to do. should i ditch him or see how things go? he wants a relationship and probably won't sit around waiting for me to make up my mind forever.
Speak to your family and friends about this. They know you better than I do and they know your judgement. Also, most of the time, when we are smitten with somebody, we are blinded. Yet, the people around us can see that persons real colors. I think that you need to protect your heart. While I can’t tell you to break up with him or not, I can tell you to open up your eyes a bit more and your heart a bit less. If you’ve been getting hurt so much, try to find out what it was about the relationships that didn’t work, try to find out what made your heart hurt so much. Don’t dwell on it though, take it more like a research project. Find what all of the relationships had in common and try to learn from any mistakes they made or any that you may have made. See what you can do different this time, and also notice any signs in this relationship that hint to leading to what has happened in your previous relationships.
Don’t worry about these things too much though. If he’s a wonderful guy, and all signs point to yes, then why not go for it?
You’ll know what to do, your heart is a lot smarter than you think♥
Anonymous asked: I’ve been anorexic, insecure and afraid of being judged, for most of my teenage years. But just recently, I realized how bad my eating disorder had been getting, so I told people and they helped me out. But not that I am getting “healthy” and am at my healthy BMI, I feel so disgusting. Every day, I get the to urge to not eat; and to force everything out again. I say that I'm “fine”, and that I am happy with my body, but honestly, I am not. I know you’re going to say I am beautiful and don’t need to get skinny. I believe I am pretty in my own way, but then why do I have this crazy urge to get skinnier, and skinnier? I thought I was over this eating disorder, because I eat now, but that does not mean I don’t hate myself for eating every spoon of anything.
You should go ahead and talk to the people who helped you some more and let them know how you’ve been feeling. I know you really want to get over your eating disorder and you don’t want to feel this way and that shows you have a strong will which is a great tool for overcoming difficulties in life. All the people you told about your eating disorder and who helped you out, continue to talk to them, let them know food is still disgusting you and you still feel horrible about yourself. They helped you then, they will be happy to help you again and they’ll know what is best for you. Don’t be afraid and don’t tell everyone you’re fine when you’re not. It will only make things worse. For you to have the strength to seek help once, and to have the strength to talk to me about this on here..is amazing. You are amazing. The urge to get skinnier and skinner is something that is in almost all girls in this world. You know why? Because the media and the people that the masses are supposed to “look up to” in life have buried that image into all of our sub consciences. From an early age, they try to make us feel as though we’re not “perfect” enough and they make us feel as though we need to change ourselves to reach that “perfection”. All of us. They are wrong. The way you are feeling is not your fault. Trust me, there are so many people out there that feel the same way that you do. You can get through this and you will, I promise. With the help of the people who care for you and your own determination, this is something that will be in the past sooner than you think.
Anonymous asked: I have this friend and we have been best friends since 2nd grade (so that would mean 7 years). I can talk to her about almost anything. She moved to a different school in the 3rd grade. We still hang out and talk, so that's not the problem. She is very open except on what my beliefs are (I hope this doesn't offend you since I read you're Christian.). She and her family go to church every Sunday and she goes to this youth group at her church. She is always inviting me to go even though she knows I am an atheist. I go since we have been friends for so long and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She doesn't agree on me being an atheist. She thinks that God is the only way and that I should "see the light", to phrase it. She accepts me on all my other decisions in life except that one. What should I do? I don't want to ruin this amazing friendship we've had for years over religion.
This doesn’t offend me at all.♥
There’s no need to end anything. One of the most important beliefs in Christianity is to share the word of God with everyone they can, and this is especially for the people that they love. Look at it this way, if she loves you enough to try to push it on you, she’s only looking out for you (according to what she believes) she’s trying to save you from a horrible fate (I don’t want to get to into that unless you ask) But what I’m trying to say is that she loves you. I have friends who are atheist and so I understand everything that you are asking. I also understand her point of view. I have never ended a friendship over that, and I don’t plan on it. I don’t think she plans on it either. My advice is to not mention “religion” to her unless she does first. And when she does, simply explain to her how you feel and since you two have been best friends for so long, I’m sure that you two can talk about anything. It sounds like what she believes in is very important to her, and is likely a huge part of what makes her the person you care so much for. Love her like she loves you. I understand that it probably frustrates you when she mentions “religion” to you..but why let that be the reason your amazing friendship ends?
Anonymous asked: hello,id first off like to say i think you are an amazing person an i wish everyone tried to be a little more like you but here's my problem.i cant seem to make myself feel like being skinny isnt a big deal.i was always a big kid and it slowly went away now i am chubby,or so i see it.i feel like my insecurities ruin everything,i wont wear a bathing suit,i wont talk to people,i wont shop,i will just cry some days.i was bulemic for 4 years on and off,now i am 17 and i am with a boy who partially makes me believe im beautiful,he tells me at least 60 times a day but i cant fully bring myself to say thank you because i disgust myself.i just want him to be able to have a girlfriend who isnt the "im fat,blahblahblah" type because im not,just being the way i am literally hurts me and i hate it,i hate what i look like.the person inside me does not reflect on the outside...
Thank you for your compliment♥ How you feel about yourself can change with some determination and time. Also, if you really don’t like the way you look, instead of resorting to bulimia which you know makes how you feel about yourself even worse, try getting a running buddy. Strive to be healthy rather than “skinny”. Try having the mentality to chose healthy food choices, just because they’re good for you and exercise, just because its a good thing to do. Eventually, not only will you feel good, you would also start to feel good about the way you look because nothing but good comes from doing those kinds of things. And lastly, really listen to your boyfriend. Try actually believing when he calls you beautiful. You know you are. You said it yourself, you dont want to be that girlfriend who is always saying they’re fat, so use him as a motivation as you are trying to work your way to a healthier lifestyle. Every day, we have the choice to change the way we feel about ourselves, why not change for the better? :)
quixomo asked: I've been with my boyfriend for ten months and things are going spectacularly well - we spend everyday together (no exaggeration there) and it's fantastic waking up to him every morning before work. He is about to turn twenty-three and I'm turning nineteen this year. I'm about to graduate with my BA, so I'm about to get out of the area. He's going to get his TESL certification and leave, too. He's considering going to Korea, where my family is from. Do you think it's odd to go to a foreign country with someone you're in a serious relationship with only ten months in? I don't want to marry him - he has been down that road, and I never want to hold him back.
Congratulations on your BA! I would like a bit more information about your relationship..You said that you wake up to him every morning? I’m wondering if you two live together already? You sound very independent and mature…but this truly is a big decision if you are thinking about actually LIVING out there with him. 10 months or 1 year, you’re in a serious relationship with him for a reason. Since it sounds like you both love each other, you need to get into a deep conversation with him about this. You should also ask your family and friends’ opinions. Really dig deep inside of yourself and find out if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with him and if you want to do this in another country. Are you truly comfortable with doing this? Do you want to get married in the future? Do you want to move away from where you live now? Do you want to change your way of living for him? What kind of future do you want? When you allow yourself to realize what you truly want, you will know what to do.
To my dear followers
Again, I sincerely apologize for not being able to answer your most recent questions.
To be honest with you, due to my parents, I am forced to hide this tumblr from them. I can only answer thoroughly when I am alone and when I am of clear mind. Which isn’t frequent. You all mean so much to me and I hate keeping you waiting..so I have a proposal to all of you.
What do you think of me adding two other “members” to this blog? They would be able to answer your questions when I won’t be able to..and I believe it would be a lot faster. The only thing is, since it won’t be from me, some of the advice wouldn’t be of the same “quality” i suppose you could say…Well, don’t get me wrong, It would be quality advice! I wouldn’t allow someone to become a “member” if I didn’t think they gave quality answers..it just wouldn’t be the same (which is good in many ways).
I must make a decision soon but I need your input.
And if you have any other opinions, please let me know!♥
Feel free to answer via “ask” :)
Thank You!
tits-andtea asked: Hi, I'm 17 years old... I'll tell you my entire life story before I ask you my question... I'm a girl dealing with depression and anxiety. I have been to 2 hospitals for it in the past six months and just graduated from intensive outpatient therapy. but, during all of this.. I had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who made my life complete. We spent about a wonderful year together before calling a quits. He was such an amazing person. We had terrible fights, but it didn't change the fact about how in love we were. Then when I got depression, I kind of changed. But so did he. He became a wrestler. It was his entire life and i felt like he loved it more than he loved me. But I never told him that up until like a month ago. We broke up in Mid-January of this year because partially of how different our lives were going. I dated other people, but it just didn't feel right to me. I know he's the one I want to marry. Usually when I text him, he doesn't answer unless I say it's important. I really don't know what to do anymore. If he doesn't care, why should I? Is what I tell myself. But it doesn't work. I have a million different outlooks, but I need an answer from an outsiders perspective.
Thank you, all my love Brittanie Elizabeth-Anne
First of all, you are gorgeous and i love your blog:)
Second, I think that you should try to talk to him about how you feel…It may lead to you two trying again or to you realizing that he really isn’t the one you want to be with. It’s okay for you two to have different ideas about what you want in life, but if he doesn’t show you that he loves you just as much (or more) than his wrestling..then maybe your first choice of leaving him is a good idea. You are right when you say “If he doesn’t care, why should I?”
You say during the relationship you two had terrible fights, think about it and be honest with yourself, you may love him and he may be someone who want to marry, but is it because of who he truely is? Do you know who he truely is as a person? Or are you more in love with the image you built up about him as a way to cope with the terrible fights?
Depression is a rough condition to deal with, not only for you, but for everyone close to you, and there are some people who won’t know how to handle it. Especially at your age, significant changes will occur that are beyond your control, and that’s a tough concept to come to terms with, even of you recognize it at face value. It’s hard to let go of something when you’ve invested yourself so deeply into it, but sometimes it’s that same emotional investment that makes it so important to let go of because it can not only obscure your perspective, but anchor you and keep you from moving on to a better you. I’m not saying that you should cut all ties you have to him and close yourself off to him, but don’t let yourself get stuck. Nothing that’s worth having comes easy.
Just keep living your life the best you can, focus on the positives and all of the accomplishments that you’ve made so far and about the accomplishments you will make. Whether he is the one you will be with for the rest of your life, or not, all that matters is your happiness right now and in the end the right man will come along and add to that happiness and know how to treat you the way you should be treated♥
